SpyderDan's Pick Up Lines Section!
Heres The Pick Up Lines...
- "Would I be talking to you if I was a hopeless pathetic loser?"
- "I'm really not as creepy as I look."
- "My nipples are hard!"
- "Nice dress can I borrow it sometime?"
- "You look like a nasty whore lets fix that."
- "Wanna suck it?"
- "I'm drunk... wanna take advantage of me?"
- "I've gotta pee! Wanna hold it for me?"
- "You know I've been stalking you for months and finally have gotten the nerve to talk to you."
- "I know where you live!"
- "I'm emotionally and psychologically disturbed and was wondering if you'd like to go on a date?"
- ... if you get shot down on that one try this... "Hey at least I'm honest!"
- "You're very attractive...you remind me of myself before my sex change operation."
- That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
- Do you want to see something swell?
- Hey babe....do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
- Drop 'em.
- What do you like for breakfast?
- Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
- Excuse me. Do you wanna fu©k or should I apologize?
- Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you. Can I call you or nudge you?
- Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you? She: Uh...no.... Irish: Well, do you want some?
- Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
- Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
- Wanna breed like bunnies?
- Hand out calling cards which say: Smile if you want to sleep with me then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...
- If you want to have sex, just keep the card. If not, kindly return it because they are expensive.
- Hi, my name's (Your Name), how do you like me so far?
- Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
- Hey baby...infect me!
- Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
- Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
- Hello Nurse!
- At the office copy machine: Reproducing eh? Can I help?
- Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
- Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.
- Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
- Hey, wanna see my R2-D2 impersonation? (Think about it...)
- I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
- Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a bumper?!?
- Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your penis and say: Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
- Hey baby...can you suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
- I require a tissue sample. May i sever a little-used portion of your body? (brandish forceps)
- Hey baby...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
- Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way. When she arrives say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
- Hey baby...can you suck start a Harley?
- Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fu©k? What's the matter, don't like pizza?
- Any chance to crawl in the sack with |you tonight?
- I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting... Let's meet sometime... I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
- I'M A SILENT SEDUCER.
- She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy?
- (Cannibals): You're looking mighty tasty!
- I'm not as good as I once was. But I'm good once as I ever was!
- "Say mother! Want another?" (if she has children)
- What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
- Hey babe, Wanna get LUCKY!!!!!!
- No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
- Will you marry me and have my children? [unfortunate side-effects: beware!]
- Bond. James Bond.
- Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
- It's absolutely pure Bolivian. And I don't *give* it away.
- Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
- Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab to your home together?
- I have an erection!
- Hello, - Do you spit or swallow?
- You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's one more??
- Your place, or mine?
- Hey baby what's your sign?
- What's your sign?
- Would you like to have morning coffee with me or would you prefer just to have sex again?
- Nice shoes. Wanna fu©k?
- Excuse me, do you wanna spoon or should I apologize?
- There's the old classic from the movie Fletch: (to girl in towel): Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.
- That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?
- Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?
Him: I like nothing better.
- Your face or Mine??
- Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
- Are you ready to go home now?
- When asked for a match: How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
- If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold _IT_ against me?
- Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
- Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
- Let's take a shower together --you smell.
- Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
- Want to see my stamp collection?
- I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
- Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
- Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
- you: "Want to come over and stay the night?" her: "You want me to sleep over?" you: "Sleep? Who said anything about sleep?"
- Someone asks, "Would you sleep with her?" Answer: "Not a wink." *EG*
- "Hey I remeber you... we had sex... it was great! What was your name again?"
- I'd look good on you.
- At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pickup the bread and say, "Wanna roll?"
- Excuse me, have I had sex with you yet?
- Have I slept with you yet? Hmmm... I thought not...not a wink.
- I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
- Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
- Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?" (sure to get responses)
- I'm comfortable with the contraception I'm using how about you?" (sure to get responses)
- I've never used that type of contraception before... wanna try it?" (only if they don't slap you first, and don't say abstinence.)
- Ya' know, that outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.....
- Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once.
- Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?
- I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your measurements?
- I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.
- Sex is a killer ... so die happy!
- I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.
- Sometimes it can be helpful to start with a complement. eg. after "accidentally" bumping her breasts, noticing a loose button, etc. say "If they weren't sooo large it wouldn't have happened"
- I love every bone in your body - especially mine
- "Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here."
- I have only three months to live.
- Chicks dig me; I wear colored underwear.
- Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
- NOW, B*TCH!
- Excuse me... do you have change for a $100 bill?
- Fancy a fu©k?
- Hi! Can I buy you a Car?
- My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
- He: "What was that?"
She: "What was what?"
He: "That sound."
She: "I didn't hear anything."
He: "It was the sound of my heart breaking."
- Please may I rest my head in your cleavage?
- Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: Female impersonator.
- You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.....
- Let me make this simple... let's go!
- "I'm drunk."
- "Would you like to see my boa constrictor?"
- "Hi, my friends call me Creepy."
- "Hello, my psychologist says it's okay for me to talk to strangers."
- "Hello, my psychologist says I'm fine as long as I'm on my medication."
- "You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno."
- "Is that a false nose?"
- "I just threw up."
- "You're UGLY but you intrigue me."
- "I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that."
- "I'm a hypnotist. Take off your bra."
- "I can get you off the naughty list"
- "I know SpyderDan!"
- "I'm good friends with SpyderDan!"
- "You can close your eyes and pretend I'm SpyderDan!"
- "Wanna buy me a drink?"
- "SpyderDan told me that you'ld buy me a drink!"
- 1st person: Do you sleep on your stomach?
2nd person: No, why? or Yes, why?
1st person: Can I?
Well that's all of the Pick Up Lines for now. Caution: Use these Pick Up Lines at your own risk.
ATTN: People have been stealing my stuff and ideas for a while granted some of these pick up lines are just plain old classics, But some of them I made up. Give me a Link and a shout out... at the least. So people give credit where credit is do... stop ripping me off or I will do something about it. You have my word or else... it won't be pleasant. I promise. Do you remember the last time I was upset about being ripped off... and the repercussions that occurred? Take care.
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